I have some answers, but the answers aren’t simple, because people’s motives are rarely just about the person they’re hurting.

Here are some common reasons this happens:

1. Projection and Internal Pain

Sometimes people carry unprocessed hurt, insecurity, or resentment from past experiences. Your kindness might feel threatening because it challenges their view of themselves or the world. They might project their own pain onto you.

2. Power Dynamics

Kindness can make someone feel indebted, vulnerable, or “less in control.” In unhealthy mindsets, hurting you can feel like regaining power or avoiding a sense of dependence.

3. Jealousy and Insecurity

compassion or stability can highlight someone’s own shortcomings or struggles. This can stir up envy, leading them to attack what they feel they can’t match or deserve.

4. Mistaken Interpretations

People can misinterpret kindness as manipulation, pity, or hidden motives — especially if they’ve been betrayed before. If they don’t trust easily, they may strike first to avoid perceived harm.

5. Patterns and Conditioning

If someone grew up in an environment where love or kindness was always followed by hurt, they might unconsciously repeat that pattern. Even genuine care can feel unsafe to them.

In short: Your kindness doesn’t cause their hurtful behavior — it exposes something unresolved in them.

Understanding this can help you see it’s not a reflection of your worth, but of their inner state.